What does it take?

What does it take to change a person's life? 
What does it take to make people ask questions? 
What does it take to to tell the truth? 
What does it take to have a person tell you they care, that they are praying for you, or if you need to talk about anything people are there?

You don't have to know you are doing anything to change a person's life.  For the past school year, I have only been myself, but until after I quit school did I realize how my attitude toward and how I live life has been observed by so many people.  One person specifically was affected more than I know.  God spoke through this person and told me why I came to the U of A, joined ROTC, and why I had to drop out.  It was for this person.  I don't know where this person's heart is right now, but I have seen the start of a change at least.

Why?!?  What are you going to do?  Where are you going to go?  I have heard this so much this past week.  Question for you:  why does something "big" have to happen for you to ask these questions?  People go along life's path with out asking why they are doing what they are doing, what they are going to do, and where they are going.  Right now here are my answers, and sorry for the vaugeness, but I want to leave a few things disclosed for now for other peoples sake.  Why?  I had to for certain things to happen that I didn't know about til after it happened.  What to do?  For now, work, live, talk, and be a friend.  Where?  God knows, he didn't tell me why I came to the U of A till practially two years later. 

I have a confession to make and I am not too happy about it's a part of 'The Wall' I think.  I have lied multiple times in the past week.  One, it's hard telling people that you are thinking about or have quit school.  Every time someone asked, how are you? how are classes? I have responded ''good." Lie! I was not good, classes were not going well, I wasn't going to classes.  I may have been phyically well, but not emotionally or spiritually.  The Wall came in and blocked me from letting people really know what was going on in my life.  After I thought about it, it hurt me, but I did it again yesterday.  Immediately I just shook my head, but didn't correct myself.  Now, I am good.  Granted, I don't know where I am going to live yet, but people have told me I can live with them.  I don't know where I am going to work yet, but people are helping me out.  Just looking at me, a closed system if you will, with out looking at all going around me, I'm not sure I've been happier.  I ask of you, don't hide what you are thinking truly.  As I said in my last post, I opened up to a select few, but what if I opened up to everyone who asked?  I won't know now, but let it be known, saying "good" when you are not is a lie, straight up...not an easy thought, even for me while writing it.

This last question really bothered me after I posted on facebook that I was dropping out.  People probably cared before, but they just didn't tell me.  How much better would this world be if people told others they cared for the sake of caring and not for something going on in their life.  Why can't people tell me they are praying for me when life is "normal."  How much better would you feel if you knew that people were giving you to God everyday?  Now people have told me they were praying for me before, but I see it in a different light now. Question:  Why do you pray for others?...think about it.  Why can't people just talk for the sake of talking?  It's most definitly partly not who I am that I don't just talk, and I know other people do, but I have had more people tell me they want to, or are there to talk if I want to.  Let me tell you now, I am here to talk whenever you need to or just want to, about anything.  Why did it take me dropping out of school for people to want to talk to me?  I don't know.  Just a thought that ran though my mind, do they really mean it or are they just saying it becuase that is what you say to someone going though a "rough time?" (I'm not going through a rough time as some may think and there are those that are going through a rough time, but people still say the same thing)

Not to say I don't welcome all of the concern and pray, but really, why did it take me dropping out of school?  It's going to be a challenge, but I'm going to try a do these things for no reason aside from love.  Why should love be a challege?  It's sad but it's against human nature and until someone "needs" it we don't show it as we should.  Sorry, or maybe not really, to end on a tough note, but seriously think about it...and let's talk...and do something.

Until next time...Peace.